Tappan Frigidaire TMS083E1W0 Microwave Oven Review

(No, I don't know what that orange grime on the bottom is)

My microwave oven has been with me since I first went to college, the first time. It was new then, but it didn't stay new very long. When it first came out of the box, it was dropped, and thus the dent on the top, that you can still see there today. However, that didn't stop this little Wal-Mart purchase from feeding me for the next 11, yes ELEVEN years. This microwave has moved with me everywhere I've lived in the past decade plus one, from out of the dorms and into a duplex with two other guys. After college, it went into storage for a year, but as soon as I moved to Dallas, this little baby went with me, in the first trip, as I moved into an abandoned chiropractor's office, then into my two bedroom apartment, into a three bedroom town-home, into a shared domicile with the ex, then into the single man's Shangri La that it finds itself in at the moment. And never once has it not given me well cooked food and the correct time.

Specs:
I don't know what this bad boy can do besides cook food using microwaves, which to this day I still think is magic, but I do know that it entertained us many times when we would put blank CDs in it, turn it on for a few seconds, and watch the lightning storm inside. Don't forget about all those Peeps that got cooked in there as well. Have you ever seen what happens to marshmellow chickens when you microwave them? No? Then try it out at home.

Accessories (yes, it too came with accessories):
It comes with a turning wheel, so you don't have to turn food, which every microwave should have. (And now that I think about it, they probably all do now, but at the time this was cutting edge) It also has a glass plate for the turning wheel, which I'm proud to say is the ORIGINAL glass plate that came with it. After all the moves, that's one of the only things I've been able to hold onto. It also has a toaster oven on top of it, but that was a later customization that I put in myself.

Installation:
Unlike the before mentioned model, this bad boy was ready to use right out of the box. I took it out of the plastic and styrofoam, dropped it and dented it, plugged it in, and I was cooking HungryMan dinners in no time. And one thing that tylerkeen failed to mention in his review is that someone had to be standing underneath his microwave while he attempted to install it. You know who that person was? It was me.

Usage:
Unless you're a complete retard, you can operate this bad boy. It pretty much spells it right out there for you on the front. What it does have are some nifty little buttons for things like defrosting meat, cooking popcorn, changing power levels. In the ten plus one years I've had this thing, I can count on one hand the times I've used those buttons.

Pros (in no particular order):
This is a no-frills, do it all microwave oven. And it's still working after 11 years. That includes 4 years of college, 7 different roommates, and countless blank CDs! And after all those years of cooking microwaveable popcorn, it doesn't smell like popcorn! Anymore, at least! The only thing wrong with it, it's plain white, but after doing this review, I'm thinking of spicing it up a bit with maybe some flame detailing, or possibly some pinstripes. Or I might clean it.

Cons (in a particular order):
Well, I am disturbed that this microwave doesn't play music, let me watch TV shows on it, allow me to venture into Azeroth and fight evil, shoot digital pictures, keep my food from spoiling, or wash or dry my clothes. Luckily, I have an iPod, TV, computer, digital camera, refrigerator, and washer and dryer for all that. Now that I think about it, I have warmed up socks in there before.

In short, I've got to say that I honestly love my microwave, and I would want no other microwave besides it. Even if I moved into a place that a built-in model, I would still use my old trusty Tappan. And since researching this review, I've found that I can still get parts for it should it ever break down (knock on wood it doesn't). This might be something I can hand down to my kids someday. The only thing it doesn't do is toast bread for me, but that's why I've got the toaster oven. Which sits on top. So...it's kinda like an accessory.

I hope you've enjoyed this review. For those wanting to get their own Tappan Frigidaire TMS083E1W0 Microwave Oven, I'm sorry, but I don't think Tappan makes microwaves anymore. They're making heating and AC units now. Some other company makes the microwaves, but they're only for boats and RVs. Weird.

I'd love to hear from you, so please leave comments, unless they're something like "This review was gay." I hate those.

Whirlpool Velos Speedcook Oven Review

(pork grilling under the quartz and halogen bulbs...one uses infrared I think and doesn't produce visible light)

There are a handful of microwave ovens on the market that can not only microwave but conventionally bake. The Whirlpool Velos Speedcook Oven is one of them and happens to be a recent addition to my home. I cannot speak to the other advanced models out there but hope to offer a useful review for those in the Whirlpool market.

Specs:
The Velos is a 2 cubic foot microwave/oven that can cook a 15" frozen pizza without touching the sides! It might do a 16" pizza but may drag a bit as it turns. It has a touch screen and touch pad on the front, the G2Max Speedcook technology, 1200 Watts of microwave cooking power, 1500 Watts of grilling and convection power, and sensor cooking options. You read that correctly...grilling and convection. This unit has a heating element with fan as well as quartz and halogen bulbs for grilling. The Speedcook technology means that the bulbs and/or microwave and/or heating element work together to correctly and quickly grill/bake/cook your food. Also has TruCapture ventilation which has four fan speeds and can push up to 350 (I think) CFM of air. The lights below the unit have three settings as well as a nightlight feature. I think the nightlight feature is simple a single button push to go straight to the "low" setting. This unit also utilizes 3 true stages of microwave power. Most microwaves have two power settings: 100% on/100% off. Different power settings are simulated by increasing the delay between the off cycles. This unit actually has a three true power settings.

Accessories (yes, the unit comes with accessories):
The Velos comes with a few very handy accessories, all required to fully utilize the cooking options this unit provides. There is a short metal rack used for convection baking, a tall broiler rack for grilling, and a non-stick platter for baking cookies, brownies, or used to catch grease when grilling. Also included is a handy little grabber tool to lift the platter out of the microwave safely, and a Rubbermaid steaming tray, which is straightforward, yet very effective.


Installation:
The Velos is quite a large unit and is fairly heavy as well. I won't include the dimensions, but you can go to the whirlpool.com site or click the title above for the link. Installation is not for the light hearted. I chose to install mine with a vent behind the unit exhausting to the outside. It is also in the corner of the kitchen which gave us some room to lift the unit into place. It requires the typical installation (not my first microwave to install) of mounting a metal harness to the back wall with multiple screws. I strongly recommend finding multiple studs to mount this to or add VERY strong molybolts. You then drill two holes above the unit for the hanging screws and one for the cord. You lift the unit up and hang the back, botton corner onto the metal harness. Simply looking like this " |< " The unit should be at a 45 degree angle hanging from the wall. You should be able to see the front AND top of the unit. You then rotate the unit up slowly, while feeding the power cord up through it's hole, and then secure the two top bolts to complete the "hanging" of the unit. BTW, I took this for granted but it is necessary to do - make sure the front 3-4" of the unit protrude out from your cabinetry as the directions state. The two vents on the right and left are necessary for rotating air during the microwaving process.

Usage:
The touch screen/LCD is VERY simple to use and as the delivery man told us, "your neighbor will be able to read the time from their house". It is bright...but can be dimmed after two minutes. It defaults to showing a clock when not in use. There are options for "cook method", "food type", "favorites", "time/temp/power", "kids menu", and "settings". For example, if I push food type - vegetable - fresh vegetable - potato/sweet potato it will tell me to wrap my potato in a paper towel, poke it with a fork, and push start. The unit then senses how many potatoes there (which magic or something) and cooks until done. And I mean done. Perfectly. Takes about 12 minutes for two potatoes. I have never used the "kids menu" and cannot vouch for that option. I only use time/temp/power when heating a cup of water for tea or reheating something for a short period of time. The sensing option is very effective and has spoiled me. The reheat option is also very effective for full dinner plates.

I have cooked tuna steak, beef steak, salmon fillets, steamed all sorts of vegetables; baked bread, brownies, rolls; poached eggs; the list goes on and on. The steaming tray is probably used the most in our house since it is easy to use, quick to cook, and easy to clean. You can even stage cooking to cycle through various power cycles for different amounts of time to cook the perfect dish. Typically most cycles ask for a "keep warm" option when complete; letting you maintain a warm temperature until you are ready to eat.

Pros (in no particular order):

1. Comes in four color options, including stainless.
2. The ventilation system works very well as a vent hood and the light is also very effective for cooking over the stove or as a room light.
3. The unit has a non-stick surface on the interior which helps minimize clean up. The convection option helpfully bakes off any splatters the microwaving may have created.
4. Cooks 97% of all food perfectly when using the sensing function.
5. Easily acts as a smaller second oven for kitchens that do not have room for two full sized ovens. Bakes bread like a champ.
6. Cooks salmon almost better than I can on the grill.
7. Accessories are very useful.
   

Cons (in no particular order):

1. VERY PRICEY. Lists at $899 and $999 for all stainless.
2. Take almost 12 minutes to heat to 350 degrees for convection cooking. Not recommended for a straight one-to-one replacement of a toaster oven. Requires a 7 minute cool down period when the baking is complete and runs the fan during that time.
3. The "boost" fan speed is fairly loud (although I have always been sensitive to loud vent hood fans...probably just me).
4. The grilling process cooks beef just a little too long. It successfully cooks beef steaks "well". I cannot blame Whirlpool since they don't want someone getting sick on undercooked meat. I just prefer mine cooked medium and stop the unit a bit early.
5. The convection baking doesn't reduce cooking times like full size convection ovens.
6. Challenging to install.
7. Large and protrudes from cabinetry.
8. Comes with a lot of accessories you have to find space to store....although I guess you could just put them in the microwave to store.
9. When you are baking or grilling, the food can be fairly high from the ground. Mount as low as you possibly can to make it easier on the shorter family members to work with.
10. Will not toast bread...at least I haven't found out how yet.
    

I really do love this oven. It compliments my full size oven very well and performed best one time we had many friends over for a pot luck dinner. It ran for three hours cooking, heating, re-heating while the full sized oven was doing the same. It originally was to be a replacement for our toaster oven, because we used that to cook most of our meals, but doesn't offer the quick heat, bake, and eat cycle we were used to. The sensing function does take care of most of our cooking since it cooks food almost perfectly. Maybe I am just having a tough time accepting that fact that my microwave is now preparing most of my food for me.

All in all hope this review was helpful. Comment or ask questions as necessary.

Robot Chicken

RAMBO: Movie Review

Sometimes you just have to go against your better judgement and see a movie that will probably suck. This was just the circumstance.

The movie begins with scenes of the bloody and horrific oppression rained down upon the Burmese people by the Burmese government. Not sure if that information is true, but an oppressed population with the military in power makes for the basis of a good shoot em up. The following scene is by a river with John Rambo and a few of his presumably Thai snake charming buddies. They carefully search for snakes for the tourist trap they work for in the middle of the jungle. Very odd that there is a random snake charming tourist destination in the thai jungle but I guess stranger things have happened. Along comes a group of Christians sharing the Gospel and supplies to the Karen rebels in Burma.

Through some terrible dialog and poor character development, John is convinced by the lone female character to take the group upstream from Thailand into Burma by river. Somehow he is considered the expert in this field and word has spread back to America of his boating and stealthiness. Long story short the Christian group helps out a small tribe until the military just so happens to overtake this small community, kill 95% of them, and take four of the original seven or so Americans hostage.

Along comes the pastor of the sponsoring church in his sport coat to John's place of work in the FREAKING JUNGLE, and coaxes him to help a group of mercenaries to save the Americans. His guilt gets the best of him and he agrees. The mercenaries are a rag tag group led by a SAS jerkwad who talks a lot and "has seen that 1,000 mile stare before" (which John continuously gives the SAS fella without saying much at all on the boat ride).

The infiltration into the Burmese military's camp is pretty cool and the sniper with the 50 mm gun is a bad ass. Come to find out the leader of the military group is gay and likes little boys which is unfortunate. I think that is probably an unfortunate truth in many of the countries under civil war where young boys are captured and forced into military duty. All of the captives are freed with just a few soldiers gutted, blow away by the sniper rifle, and throat ripped out by John Rambo himself. Oh...I forgot to add that the soldiers all were watching hostage native women dance and then raped them all when they got drunk.

When all of the soldiers wake up in the morning they realize they have been snookered and head into the woods with dogs and guns. A great chase scene entails with Rambo's only weapon as a claymore. Works out well nonetheless...as you obviously though it would. No hero gets one bullet and makes it go to waste. Rambo is so cool he doesn't even get a bullet. He gets a freaking proximity mine. At last when you think the good guys are done for on the river by the getaway boat, John comes to the rescue and shoots the hell out of the bad guys.

The writing sucked, the acting was weak, and the action was better than average. I say wait for the dollar theatre or dinner theatre and TEAR IT UP! Save a buck or get drunk to make it count! All in all a typical shoot em up. They could have tried a little harder with the story, but I guess by now most POW/MIA/American's taken hostage for no good reason stories are already written.

I forgot to add, Sly Stallone needs to back off of the weights and 'roids. He is like Barry Bonds. He gets more ripped as he gets older. I don't think Rocky or the original Rambo series ever had him this ripped.